This year’s Summer Game Fest featured a mostly gameplay-less trailer of the upcoming skate. with the open ended tagline of “we’re still working on it.” While a console playtest was announced for this upcoming fall, most of the trailer focused on a character named Richard “Richie” Dandle, the CEO of MCorp, “San Vansterdam’s largest investment conglomerate and leader in city-wide revitalization.” Richie, played by acclaimed writer and comedian Tim Robinson, assures the viewer that MCorp is doing better than ever, and that they are not failing miserably. Tim gives maybe about 30% of his usual energy to this performance filled with many of the comedic touchstones you expect from Tim Robinson, which doesn’t make the trailer in and of itself particularly exciting or memorable, but it does posit an important, burning question to any viewer even halfway invested in skate. and the Tim Robinson mythos: Will Tim Robinson be playable in skate.?
@w0rble Is #TimRobinson the only #Emmy winner who can tre flip? #ithinkyoushouldleave ♬ original sound – Worble
For those not in the know, Tim Robinson is an avid skateboarder. He is one of the very few elite Emmy Award winners who can perform any skateboard tricks. There is a #rare sketch of his featuring pro wrestler, skateboarder and overall nutso stuntman Darby Allin where-in Tim notes that every single person on his skate team is a bad person in real life. With Tim’s well documented love of skateboarding, anyone even halfway interested in skate. is morally responsible to ask themselves the philosophically profound question of “how come in the part of the skate. trailer where they actually show gameplay, there wasn’t a full 3D model of Tim Robinson as the Richie Dandle character performing kickflips?”
This leads us, then, to a particularly dark conclusion that I don’t think any of us are willing to confront. Tim Robinson may not be playable in skate.. Please take a moment, I know this news might be troubling and hard to accept. You may need to sit yourself down, knowing that you can’t roam the open world of San Vansterdam as the man who brought you such incredible sketches as “Baby of the Year” and “Coffin Flop.” You will never get to live out the reality of putting him in a huge hotdog suit while you mutter “we’re all trying to find the guy who did this” quietly to yourself in a dimly lit room, trying to amuse yourself in your loneliest moments. You have been robbed by video game conglomerate EA and you didn’t even know they had taken anything from you.
Well, it doesn’t have to be this way. This is a call to action. Take to every social media platform you can access and let EA and the official skate. account know that we won’t stand for this injustice! Make your voices heard with the hashtag #IWantTimRobinsonInskate.! Tell them that you want to be able to slam into a curb and ragdoll Tim Robinson into the concrete and totally eat shit, causing injuries that the real life man may not survive from, that his in-game avatar will brush off handily before saying some line about needing to take a huge dump. Let EA know that you want Tim in the mo-cap studio capturing his most realistic kick flip possible. Call their customer support line and tell them your funniest I Think You Should Leave quote that you have memorized. They’ll get the message. They’ll understand. Today is the day we make our stand.
Today, we fight back.
