He Can Fart To Fly Around, Too – Fuck’s Quest II Review

I love when a few screenshots can sell me on a game. When Video Game History Foundation Library Director Phil Salvador started posting about something called “Fuck’s Quest II” on his Bluesky, I was flabbergasted and laughing in equal measure. His screenshots showed a variety of characters that seemed to be drawn by particularly disgruntled children talking about things like “being good at Respectball” and how eating “Mike’s Horny Pizza” would kill you immediately. Needless to say, I went to Steam and purchased the game he was speaking of, which yes, is named Fuck’s Quest II. There is no “Fuck’s Quest I”, for the record.

Fuck’s Quest II is a game where you play as Fuck. He is the character you play as. He has decided to break the curse put on the land, and to do so he must gather two Bible Crystals and defeat a variety of ugly monsters. Everything about this game is irony poisoned; the characters are MS Paint-esque abominations, and their dialogue is comprised mostly of swears and insults. Hiding under this layer of complete stupidity is a solidly designed game, calling to mind 2D Zelda with sword and bomb-based combat and a few dungeons to explore, each unlocking new abilities for Fuck to use. 

Unfortunately, a lot of why I liked this game is the jokes, and just listing a bunch of jokes in a review is lame and helps nobody. I will still tell you a few to try to convince you. You can get a free health refill in dungeons by pissing “forever” into a huge hole in the ground, or on a guy you hate’s gravestone later in the game. “Sex Food” makes you move faster for 20 seconds, which is apparently analogous to how long Fuck lasts in bed. The hub town is called “Cleanville”, which I keep thinking about every few hours, and I laugh every time. 

To me, the humor lies in how batshit the world is in its consistency. Everyone is unflinchingly cruel in language to each other, but they will also help and be helped at the drop of a hat. Fuck will tell someone to go die in a hole and then immediately take on a lifethreatening quest to find an item for them. The absurdity is key, but so is the weird sense of heroism throughout. There’s no reason for Fuck to be doing any of this, he sucks ass and girls don’t like him. But he does it because everyone else sucks ass and that’s just how it is. As someone who often tells people I would die for at a moment’s notice to shut the fuck up (jokingly!!!) at least once a day, you can see why I gel with this.

I initially wanted to say “if you can look past these things, there’s a well put-together game here”, but no. You need to think this brainrot is hilarious or don’t bother. I can only recommend this to people who love YouTube Poop and similar things. This is a consistently rewarding game for people who know what a Dinner Blaster is. I’m kinda surprised it’s not in this game, to be frank. There are so many little nooks and crannies to dig into, item interactions to discover, and dumb jokes to set up by slamming your stupid abilities together; it’s very impressive that something so dumb is also so smart. 

There’s a variety of puzzle and skill based challenges in the world, and I enjoy how ridiculous some of the answers can be. One event involves the creator of the game, covered in bed sores, asking you to help fix a bug as the environment around him disintegrates. You have to chase an actual physical bug using Sex Food to speed up, and once you do it clears up the horrible pixelation layered over the room the dev is in. He then gives you a boat-pothole removing tool, which lets you help a rich guy get his boat out of a pothole, which you then jump into while screaming. It’s a bit difficult to do a few of the quests, but none of them feel impossible, unless the joke is that you’re not supposed to be doing this or you just have to come back with a new item.

These side quests and extra items you can get are completely optional. It’s possible to mainline the game and blow through it fairly quickly, but once you scratch the surface and use different items in different places, the world expands exponentially. I would say this is a “you get what you put into it” kind of game, where you’ll be rewarded with new jokes and abilities by sticking your head somewhere you passed by before. Sometimes you end up getting a health upgrade and nothing else, sure, but other times you’ll stumble into a “lockpicking” minigame that is an impossible Snake-like that constantly shows you how much time you’ve wasted on attempting it. I did not finish it in my playthrough. You may call me weak if necessary.

Another thing to highlight for folks without irony poisoning is the soundtrack. There’s a wide swath of songs that hit many random genres, but they’re all solid. I’ve had a lot of the music stuck in my head, which is especially funny since it results in Fuck’s stupid walk sprite gesticulating around in my mind’s eye. The “voice acting” also rules, in that each time you talk to anyone they say an insane voice line such as “My farts, my rules! Deal with it!” which yes, I have added that to the “stim archive”. 

Fuck’s Quest II is a very stupid game made by someone with solid game design chops. If you want to play a 2D Zelda game where you call everyone an asshole and have a fart propulsion ability, this is that. It’s very much worth checking out for many reasons, but for people with broken senses of humor like me, it’s almost essential.