Recently, I’ve had a problem. Every game I had an inkling to review was, approximately speaking, sixty-five million years long. The newest in the line of Trails games, visual novels, and other assorted infinite timesink games. There is only so much I can take before my brain starts melting.
Sometimes you want to play something short and sweet; sometimes, you just want to shoot a high-powered, double-barrel shotgun. Sweet relief washed over me as I received the notification I had been hoping for: The Steam Summer Sale.
I acquired a few things and, unfortunately for my future self, that also included yet more games too long for my own good(it’s probably fine, she and I haven’t been on speaking terms lately), but for the most part, I did what I set out to do. I purchased a mercifully short game which had caught my eye: Captain Wayne – Vacation Desperation.
Yet again, I found myself drawn into a GZDoom-powered first person shooter.
My first impression was positive. Compared to the literal mountain of demon-killing Doomlikes, it instead goes for an aesthetic which I can only describe as early 2000’s flash animation pirates. Typically, the aesthetic of the humble buccaneer is not something I enjoy; forgive me, I’ve never been much of a pirate person. Having said that, there is an immense amount of charm in the art style. I’ve seen quite a few GZDoom games utilizing the painterly, latex-model-like sprites of classic Doom, so it’s refreshing to see something so cartoony. The enemy sprites, for instance, provide a great amount of visual interest while also being readable and contrast well with the polygonal environments.
Presentation is one of Captain Wayne’s strongest points, between its eclectic, overdriven music, art direction, and general bawdy tone. You’re not picking up health kits; you’re munching on fish guts and doing shots of rye whiskey. Electric guitars blare as the good Captain blasts a double barrel into—in his own words—a “dumb motherfucker.”
Captain Wayne isn’t exactly trying for something perfectly refined and, for me, such a thing oozes personality and intention. Cutscenes often have an intentionally rough look with limited animation, voice actors often have varying qualities to their microphones, their acting is delightfully strange in a way only something trying to be so intentionally goofy can be. You got me the moment you introduced a detective doing literally every single detective stereotype at once.
Much like a cartoon, the comedy centers around a lot of intentional farce, silly characters, and visual gags. One standout example is pushing a switch which, most of the time, opens a door; instead, it explodes, pushing you backward and leaving a perfectly Captain Wayne shaped hole in the wall. Wonderful, very silly.
On the gameplay front, this is a standard Doom-like. In a world where Hedon and Selaco exist, this may sound like an insult, but Doom is still Doom; we all know that Doom is good. You hunt for keys, you clear rooms, what is here is still good even if it doesn’t break new ground doing it.
Even the weapon selection is standard in this respect, albeit tied to Captain Wayne’s mechanical arm. Instead of holding a shotgun, your arm is a shotgun, minigun, lighter, plasma gun, immersion blender, etc. Even if it’s only on a technicality, we can throw him in the limited pantheon of left-handed shooters. The weapons are all satisfying to use, with handy alt-fires, but you’ve seen this loadout before in many games.
What makes your kit shine is the level design. Every stage is an interesting pirate-themed romp which avoids many of the more tired genre trappings, or at least freshens them up enough that you won’t be bothered. Sure, there are ancient ruins, but it’s also doing a fun non-Euclidean infinite stair trick with Eldritch nightmare monsters. Unique terrain, varying levels of elevation, cover, set pieces; it’s all very wonderful. It’s also worth noting the game’s smooth sense of pacing and guidance. I never got lost, and always had a clear idea of where I should be moving. It’s easy to forget design intent is a cultivated skill and the devs had a deft hand at making it seem effortless.
Enemies are also a big standout. I have seen games with four times this length with half as many enemies. You have your standard grunts, Mike Tyson-esque boxers, seagulls with grenades strapped to them, shoggoths, sentient oil barrels, and more. Each one mixes up the engagements and multiplies complexity. This cast, within the game’s eight levels and nine wave-based horde maps, are a recipe for a diverse set of experiences
The only thing I have to give a non-committal shrug to is the story. Captain Wayne himself is an archetypal shooter protagonist of the early 90s; someone stole his things, he would rather them not do that, there are several homicides about it, The End. I can’t stress enough though that this is hardly worth mentioning. In a genre where many games barely even articulate this much, it’s not bad. It’s the barest conceit to have an action game happen. That’s fine! More than fine even, I’m glad the story is completely out of my way for the most part.
Captain Wayne is the vacation I needed in a sea of lengthy games. I know that’s a bit like complaining that my meal is too rich and decadent, but I’m a simple woman. The gameplay is not breaking new ground but more than anything, I cannot stress enough the level of craft on display. I have to give a hat tip to any game willing to give multiple reload animations to a double barrel depending on how many shells are in it. Captain Wayne’s own hat is visible on screen at all moments of gameplay! That’s hilarious! I can easily love something where the creators clearly had as good a time making it as I had playing it.
Admittedly, it is on the easy side for a boomer shooter—ignoring the fact I’m a freak doing nothing but playing Ultrakill’s Cybergrind all day. However, I do think Captain Wayne is great for people who want an introduction into the genre with a fun presentation. Here is a game, lovingly crafted, brief, and will give you every tool you need to succeed. An easy recommendation.
Now, I fall back into an abyss of RPGs and games meant to break my spirit and hurt my heart.
Good
"Rum Punch"
Captain Wayne is a solid, fun boomer shooter with a breezy length and enjoyable atmosphere.
