I feel like I had little to no time to accomplish anything in Twenty Twenty Three, let alone play video games. Even in Twenty Twenty Four I could barely get enough time to finish this top ten list! On top of the multiple incredibly long RPG’s that come out seemingly every year now, there were some other games that came out last year that I just couldn’t get time to sink my teeth into for one reason or another. I hope this overly long opening paragraph and the, fuckin’, title of this article is starting to make sense now.
10. Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales
When Spider-Man 2 got announced I went crazy — Venom symbiote shit is some of my favorite Spider-Man writing ever. And hearing Yuri Lowenthal go “evil mode” when wearing the black suit got me all tingly. However, like another incredibly popular game that came out this year, I would have wanted to play the first game in the series before jumping into this one. Specifically, the Miles Morales side-game for 2018’s Marvel’s Spider-Man. Something about the idea of getting to travel around a snowy New York City as Spider-Man gets me all tingly. It’s one of those games I haven’t watched any footage of, so don’t tell me if it looks like crap or all of the snow on the side of the roads is all brown and dirty like in the real New York City.
9. Baldur’s Gate 3
You guys hear about this game? D&D but you don’t gotta talk 3 of your friends into committing their lives to 8 hour sessions of role play every week seems like a no-brainer. Actually, this game totally does have co-op, doesn’t it? Retract that last bit. From what I understand, people really liked this game, and it feels like one I can sorta jump into at any point, and also one I can jump into without having played the other ones. I feel like the world kinda stopped when this game came out. Like I had people at work say “Sorry, I was playing Baldur’s Gate 3 last night” and more than 1 person chimed in that they were doing the same. A lot of people I know missed deadlines because of this game, and it seemed like a totally normal thing. They should put laws in place like they did with Dragon Quest when a new Baldur’s Gate comes out so people can get their shit done.
8. Alan Wake 2
Damn you, Remedy Entertainment! Damn you and your critically acclaimed narrative driven third-person shooters! You always do this to me! You put out a game that looks literally perfect for me but with some caveat! My computer wasn’t good enough to run Control, I haven’t played the first Alan Wake, and who knows what obstacle you’re going to create for me when that Max Payne remake eventually comes out. Let me play your damn games Remedy Entertainment! Curse you! Curse you and your entire company filled with genius and good looking developers!
7. Live A Live
This game finally came out on PC in 2023, but it suffered the fate of being a role-playing game, meaning I couldn’t devote the mental fortitude to sitting down and dedicating my life to it. Which stinks, because I was ready to have this game completely and utterly change my life. Y’know that feeling? Like when a game plops out in-front of you out of nowhere, probably from another country, probably from a hundred years ago, and just by seeing a single screenshot you can tell it would irreparably change your life forever? Moon RPG was like that, for me. When that game got its English translation announced I almost cried. Which was coincidental, because I actually did cry at the end of that game! Live a Live is another one of those. I think more people should translate games that will change my life. Someone should translate that fishing RPG that Shigesato Itoi made for the N64. Tim Rogers, get on that.
6. Like a Dragon: Ishin!
I hate this game for 3 reasons. One, they put internet celebrities I don’t like into the weird rogue-like mode. Two, they changed some characters’ original likenesses from the PS3 version to other characters from the series in the Remake. And Three, I didn’t play it before watching the release trailer. Every SINGLE time I watch the release trailer for a Yakuza game, I think to myself “That was WAY too much information to give someone who is about to play your game”. For the Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth trailers, they were showing off cutscenes from the ass-end of that game. Why do they do that? The second people on Twitter were posting karaoke songs from Ishin, I knew it was over — I wasn’t getting the pure and perfect blind playthrough experience. I know this sounds like I’m complaining, but I hear that game is still pretty tight, story not widthstanding. It’s got gun-kata in it.
5. NieR: Automata
This game has been sitting in my backlog for 5 years now. It’s another one of those games that all my friends on social media played for me. Like, one where they post willy-nilly as if everyone has already played it. Apparently there are still parts of this game I haven’t seen yet, so I suppose I should still give it a shot. More importantly, I think I should play this one before Stellar Blade comes out so I know precisely what parts they rip off from NieR.
4. Lies of P
Look if they’re not gonna release Bloodborne on PC then people are gonna start making their own Bloodborne. The writing was on the wall from the beginning — the public wants gritty nightmarish action adventure games heavily inspired by already existing properties and writers. And by not making the Best One Of Those To Do That readily available for the gaming populous, someone is gonna get mad and just make their own! This game had a crazy good demo, too. I was blown away with how much they were letting you play in that one. It felt like a mistake — after the first boss was done I remember thinking “Oh… there’s more?” It was awesome. All that stuff with the little cricket character in your pocket seemed super interesting too. Has this game went on sale yet?
3. Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon
Yeah yeah, I know. “How on earth have you not played this one?!” I’ll tell you why — I was still playing Pikmin 4, baby! I was battling dino’s in Exoprimal! I was cuttin’ em’ up in En Garde! Sorry, Armored Core! Sorry, FromSoftware! This one was like Baldur’s Gate – everything just stopped when this came out. One of the group chats I was in would have, like, daily check-ins about some awesome shit that happened in their game. I was super jealous, this game seems fire. Would it still have the same oomph if I played it in, like, 4 years when it’s $20?
2. ULTRAKILL
Still haven’t played this one yet.
1. Super Mario RPG
I’m gonna be completely honest — It takes a lot for me to boot up my Nintendo Switch nowadays. Something that was once my daily driver, a new title always over the horizon, with seemingly unlimited potential. Playing on my Switch now just feels dirty, like I’m turning on the Happy Box from Mother 3 — a propaganda machine that’s just spitting out gibberish. I’m unusually harsh on Nintendo recently, but it’s kind of hard not to be. Their draconian business practices, their straight up life ruining responses to piracy, constant DMCA takedowns, and overall lower quality of games just makes them an easy target. But like all disgruntled and jaded Nintendo fans, it’s hard to stay away from the Big N when they do something even slightly mold-breaking. To this day, Super Mario RPG seems like a game that shouldn’t have happened. For all intents and purposes, Nintendo teaming up with the biggest name in RPG’s is completely unheard of. Usually they go for the second-best option, like Universal Studios or K’nex. But it did happen, and it sounds, looks, and plays like a dream. Everything about that game just seems so lovingly crafted, every single part of that game was perfectly presented. Funny looking back on it now, how Square would eventually turn on Nintendo to put FF7 on a disc rather than a cart. It all just felt too good to be true. Which is why it getting a remake is so “Super Mario RPG“, y’know? Like, how did that happen! What legal Olympics had to take place for the lawyers of Nintendo AND Square Enix to agree on this coming out? Game seems cool, haven’t played it yet.
That’ll do it for my top ten! If you’re reading this, it means Gamesline let me submit this a day after the due date, so thanks for having me if they did, and curses to them and their entire lineage if they didn’t!
I’m Robby! I play games for the internet and embarrass myself on social media! Watch ‘Sparkle on, Raven: The Life of Drillgirl’! Check out robby.zone, twitch.tv/robbydude, and twitter.com/robbydude.
