Yeah I still don’t have energy so no opening spiel.
THE TSUKIHIME REMAKE AWARD: TSUKIHIME -A piece of blue glass moon-
Fans released a partial English translation patch for Tsukihime’s recent remake on the Nintendo Switch last summer that I was finally able to play, and man, do I love Nasu writing. There’s just something really special about being able to sit there and alternate between insane descriptions of proper nouns (now supported by a higher budget VN allowing for animated Arcueid using a dry erase board to explain everything to you) and some of the most realistic and vapid internal monologues you’ve ever seen in fiction. There’s something magical about being able to see the author struggle against recreating a story that took place in a very different world in the modern era, and muse about how something as common and everyday as smart phones completely changes everything. Now, as much as I want the Ciel route, I actually need Nasu to release the Far Side immediately because playing through this really made me realize how much I need the Women’s Routes. I need the Women’s Routes Now.
THE GHOST OF TSUSHIMA AWARD FOR A BAD GAME THAT DECIDES TO LET YOU SHOOT A POISON BLOWDART INTO THE CROTCH OF AN ENEMY SOLDIER AND THEN HAVE A TRAGIC FLASHBACK WHERE YOUR UNCLE REPRIMANDS YOU ABOUT HONOR:
https://t.co/1zv6o97ase pic.twitter.com/m5SWjdCrqn
— Rosarie Maria🦐 (@horngal) April 21, 2022
THE FATA MORGANA AWARD FOR FATA MORGANA, PLEASE PLAY THE HOUSE IN FATA MORGANA:
I finally finished all available Fata Morgana content this year with The House in Fata Morgana: Reincarnation, which is by all accounts a fanservice slice of life spin-off, and boy, was it. It really doesn’t have the spark of the first two games, owing in part to the fact that the main artist was sick, and their lead composer was mostly unavailable, but it’s still the Fata Morgana characters. The thing I liked most about this mostly unnecessary game is that, despite identifying deeply with the character of Morgana, this game decided to remove the barrier of kinning entirely and just make her me. After her sad backstory is revealed with her problems of family and illness etc, she starts to live with her trans friend and play Fate GO all day. Truly incredible stuff.
10. Nightmare of Decay
This is just a really low budget indie horror game that I really enjoyed. It’s basically just Resident Evil, like straight up, just a little shorter. It was unfortunately not designed with me in mind since they make it very hard to play if you’re a gamer who likes to kill every single enemy you come across but, that’s fine, I know I’m right. They actually have a bunch of surprisingly in-depth side modes for this too like a survival mode and a randomized mode that I really found fascinating for a game with such a low buy-in price (5 dollars!)
I think why I’m putting this here even if it is very much just “we made a Resident Evil” is it showcases that these individual creators on their own can make these really well-crafted games with next to no budget that have tons of features and accomplish all of the goals they set out for. They can do that, but AAA games have to be consistently worse every passing year. Sad!
9. Tunic
Tunic is a game that will surely scratch the itch of people who have been screaming for something in the vein of Fez for the last ten years. It’s full of insane puzzles that require a lot of legwork and consideration, but if you just want to tap out when you know that you’ve had enough, you’ll still have a pretty great time. While I found some of the later puzzles a bit too obtuse and tedious, I still managed to complete the entire thing and see their weird creepypasta website that’s about, god knows what.
I highly recommend watching some of the documentary work around this game because that’s arguably the most fascinating stuff about it. The game uses all sorts of angles to hide its secrets, and learning about where that design philosophy came from makes for a compelling story.
8. Returnal
Despite its low place on this list I do not want you to discount just how sick Returnal is. They made a AAA roguelike with the conceptual aesthetics of Metroid Prime and it actually delivers on that insane idea completely. It’s the only game I’ve played on my recently acquired PlayStation 5 that truly felt next-gen, with its insane focus on particle effects and having them actually interact with the environment. It also has a really novel and interesting way of doling out its narrative, a way that I thought AAA games had completely gotten away from in favor of aping “films” (if you can even honestly say that that is true). Everything is oozing style, and even if I wish it had been just a little longer, I’m happy that this proves Sony studios can still actually accomplish things.
7. Sonic Frontiers
These boss fights are melting my brain with the musichttps://t.co/XKgiVm1oi1 pic.twitter.com/FLw3EMFypE
— Rosarie Maria🦐 (@horngal) November 11, 2022
Sonic Frontiers has the perfect recipe designed to make me hate a Sonic game; an uninspired and realistic aesthetic coupled with an attempt at mimicking popular trends and ideas from other games. To me, Sonic succeeds when it is doing something truly off the wall, something that you would never think to even try, something that seems like it should have been so simple to design and yet…how…how did this game end up like this. Sonic is a creature of mayhem, and his games should reflect that in all ways.
Frontiers managed to be successful because it felt like the developers knew exactly what people liked about 3D Sonic gameplay without trying too hard to be like Mario or other contemporaries. The world isn’t filled with vapid bandit camps or aesthetic setpieces that exist just to walk by, it’s filled with bullshit Sonic ramps and rails and stupid little springs. Sonic’s whole deal is he goes fast…so you just go fast! There’s no hyper realism or insane detail because that shit does not matter to Sonic!!!! He just runs!
You know what people like about Sonic? The dang multi-phase final bosses where it plays a sick vocal track! What if we did that for every single boss? Hell yeah brother! People love to think about all the insane old Sonic games, what if we just kept making Sonic reference that shit! Fuck Yes! Let’s Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Signalis
They let you turn on real tank controls.
5. Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin
Kino…https://t.co/tv7HURM0Ho pic.twitter.com/2h8KQ85A5a
— Rosarie Maria🦐 (@horngal) August 9, 2022
Jack Garland is perhaps the greatest Final Fantasy character created yet. At no point during his insane nonsensical journey across remixed locations of Final Fantasy Lore does he ever out-stay his welcome. He never frustrates you, despite being a very frustrated man. He never betrays his friends, he never betrays his ideals. Jack Garland is a hero, even in a game that for some reason does not play as well as either of the Nioh games.
4. Library of Ruina
I hope someday Project Moon hires gameplay designers who can align with their vision because everything about Library of Ruina is soooooooooo sick outside of that. It has an incredibly distinctive and memorable soundtrack that changes as you play, even peppering in sick songs from artist Mili for boss fights and more elaborate sequences. There’s a cyberpunk world that’s /actually/ cyberpunk, complete with realistic horrors wrought from the intersection of unreal technological advancements and capitalism. The art, buddy, the art. Every woman in Library of Ruina is like, custom-made for every lesbian I know, and every man feels designed for every gay guy I know. It’s a really fascinating and unique game that you can just feel the passion and imagination that went into designing it at every point of the experience.
But seriously please Project Moon, you just went and made a new gacha game without hiring someone to reel you in on the gameplay stuff which, to a certain degree I respect but, I’m begging you, I want people to play your games. Even if it’s just a UI designer, that’s all I ask.
3. AI: The Somnium Files
#womanmomenthttps://t.co/1KGwOVnJZj pic.twitter.com/puiOb0XoBp
— Rosarie Maria🦐 (@horngal) April 29, 2022
Not the second game which I did not like very much!
The Somnium Files is an incredible game about a man who needs to be neutered by the state, trying his best to solve insane serial killings across multiple timelines. He sucks so much, and half of his personality is sexually harassing women, and yet somehow he is irresistible to every lesbian I know. I hate you Kaname Date, but I cannot stop myself from loving you and your insane daughter who can bench press an atomic warhead.
2. The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky SC
Everything I said that one time about Trails in the Sky FC, imagine I said it here but even more. Holy hell, this is the new paradigm to which I compare all JRPGs to. It has literally everything from the most insane minute world building pay-offs, to a whole ass Organization XIII. After Platinum had betrayed me for the final time, I am finding refuge in the warm and safe arms of Falcom from now on.
(Also, I find it incredible that the first game has this insane fetishistic bit multiple times where Estelle forces her boyfriend Joshua to wear a dress and now, everyone in the world knows it and makes fun of him for it. This is what video games are all about. This is what we should always find.)
1. Xenoblade Chronicles 3
The Paradigm to which I hold all AAA games to now. An incredibly detailed and intricate story that, despite taking 100+ hours to fully explore, rarely if ever feels like it is wasting your time. They introduce you to every single party member immediately and they stick with you for the entire game. You get to learn about all of them. You get to learn about all of their acquaintances. You get to learn about all their acquaintances’ acquaintances. This is what every game sequel should be; a culmination of all that came before it. There is basically nothing bad I can say about Xenoblade Chronicles 3. It’s an incredible piece of work, and you are doing yourself a disservice if you don’t give it a try for any reason.
